Short 3am Thought.

There's a monster in my pocket, a hum of life sits in my ear. The chocolate has run out and snuggly jumpers line my suitcase. Inspiration may be lacking in force and yet at 3 in the morning a pull towards words leaves certain thoughts aching.

There are questions parading, constant in their hunt for attention. Trivial, I think. Ridiculous, I think. And yet they gnaw with their little fangs, nipping at braincells and stirring an exhausted mind. Questions of where to, of when. Of what now and of how. Of colours I need, creations unstable in their image just yet, plans not yet made, commitments to be faced.

There is quiet on the outside, cacophony within.

Quiet today.

Today the world began again. For me it began earlier than usual. The hint of sunlight decided for me the start of my days consciousness. Stinging eyes and peace of mind.. electric blanket and still air. The inexpressible comfort of a wakening to a day you owe to no-one.

I thought of clouds, their state of contradictory constance. I thought of my Mum and her love for the world. I thought of the smell of vanilla and apple, frangipani and lavender, how summer hides behind veils of sky and is as cheeky within itself as the mischief that it brings.

Music lifted me from blankets. Delicious tones and infectious smooth. Music like velvet cold and satin ice. It was with tranquil thought I rose to my day of nothingness.

I long for purpose to the day that involves not doctor visits or the awaiting of progression. For pain to cease. For the day that I can inform you that I am in fact just me and not a head clouded with ache and invisible ouch.

It will come. But this is the world today. And tomorrow, no doubt, it will begin again.